tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
