i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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