Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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