Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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