Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize