Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
