cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
