the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
