Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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