I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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