this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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