I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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