Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
