hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
