Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish you could order shots online.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
