too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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