I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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