frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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