so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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