people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize