Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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