Pappa wants mamma naked
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
