His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
