it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
40s are totally the cure
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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