In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am mentally ready for anal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
