TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
