We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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