i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
