So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
