oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
