dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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