Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
