Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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