batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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