I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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