I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
