sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How external is "for external use only"?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
