And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize