is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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