how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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