I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize