I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
