Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
