"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
