We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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