Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize