just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
