He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize