There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
