I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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