Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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