just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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