My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
