somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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