I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you had me at cake vodka
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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