The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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